4 Stages of Social Isolation
I recently Zoomed with some good friends I had not seen in a very long time. We were catching up and checking in with one another about how we’re all handling social isolation. When asked about my current status my response was that, much like grief, I feel like I’ve experienced a few different stages of social isolation. I can’t say for sure when each one began or ended because everything is bleeding into each other at this point.
Stage 1: WTF?
My husband and I decided to keep our children home and begin social distancing indefinitely on March 17. We really didn’t know what that meant for the foreseeable future.
What we did know was that there was a constant regurgitation of negative, alarming and disjointed information being thrown out to the public. It was the socially responsible thing to do and our circumstances were forgiving.
Our first full week at home we tried to alternate schedules by a few hours and also by big blocks of time. We tried creating a structure for our kids (4.5 + almost 2) with a loose schedule including physical activity, creative time, reading, learning, etc. but it’s really freaking hard.
Stage 2: Irritability + complete exhaustion
My PMADs (perinatal mood and anxiety disorders) symptoms returned. I was very irritable and exhausted all the time.
Every morning I would wake up and immediately look forward to getting back into bed at night. Whenever there was a chance to sit or lie down, I did it. I had a very difficult time concentrating on work.
Stage 3: Depression
This one spilled over from stage 2, but it definitely became more apparent. I had no desire to talk to anyone because, quite frankly, I didn’t see a point. There was nothing to say or do about what’s going on.
I had a definite spike in what I can only describe as grief, and definitely had the urge to cry a ton.
Stage 4: Acceptance (?)
To be clear; I am not diggin’ the current sitch.
I am not 100% back to feeling like myself. However, after some trial and error around scheduling work/childcare balance, my husband and I may have hit our stride (or at least, the best version of it we can get right now.)
It’s definitely tough but we alternate about every 2 hours and oddly, I feel like it has ultimately made me more productive. Being forced to focus on only what is essential and get really clear on what I need to do has forced me to cut out the crap.
Now when we’re ripped from our sleep by a very loud and very lovable (almost) 2 year old at 6:30AM, the only reason I want to go back to sleep is because I’m tired, not because the depression is so loud. Throughout the day I’ve noticed I had a little more energy and I’ve even started exercising again.
We’re still on lockdown until at least May 15, so I don’t know how I will continue to process social distancing. However, I’m hoping that since it’s been a month (and feels like a year) that I’ve found my groove.
Someone in my Facebook feed posted a piece from The Medium, and it was so helpful to read it. One of the parts that struck me the most was:
All of these inner, psychological difficulties we’re now having to manage each day demand an exceptional amount of energy from us. We are not limitless when it comes to how much energy do we have in a day. We have a cap, and that’s it.
Keep going, y’all. I’m right there with you.
With warmth and gusto,