Why I don't post photos of my kids online (it’s *likely* not what you think)
Let’s get it out there, officially:
I have 2 kids.
Is there a version of this from a Mom’s perspective? Tee available here.
Regardless of the fact that I don’t feature them through my company’s social media presence nor my personal accounts, I do indeed have children. Two in fact: a 4.5 year old and a (practically) 2 year old.
My husband and I made the decision before our first child was born that we would not post photos of him online. It’s just what we felt was best for our family and in hindsight, I am so grateful for that decision because it turns out that *I* needed it more than my son.
Some parents may choose not to put their kids on social media with a bit of smugness, convinced that they have taken smarter or better approach and everyone else will later realize the error of their ways.
(As Blanche would say, “I know cause I’ve met ‘em!”)
As a side note let me just say this, based on my experience, about becoming a parent; if you for one second think you have anything at all ‘figured out,’ you’re definitely doing it wrong.
A visual aid of how I feel about *those* parents. If you feel the same way (or just maybe about 2020 in general, you can grab this tank here.
Every time I find myself confused, unsure, rattled or any other insecure feeling as a result of any aspect of parenthood, part of me cheers for myself a little: “YES! THIS IF THE FEELING YOU’RE AIMING FOR. KEEP GOING!”
Anyone who truly feels they have parenthood figured out, wrapped in a DIY bow they saw on Pinterest is either doing it out of insecurity or delusion.
Parenthood should break you down entirely. It should suck out the very last drop of pride, energy, personal space, rest and dignity you have at your disposal. The more time that passes, the more humbled you should feel.
And through all the uncertainty, you still have a little person impatiently waiting for you to take that microscopic spec of oregano off of their slice of pizza.
If you were on the fence about parenthood, I’m sure I just sold it to you.
I digress.
Good Enough Mom tee available here.
When PPD/PPA hit me (even though I didn’t realize it), I went through a complete loss of personal identity. that I felt like anything but an individual person because the truth is that with a baby, there really is no option to think of yourself without also thinking about that little person.
What I didn’t expect through all the postpartum depression/ postpartum anxiety was the relief that came with having presence on social media. It was the only space in my life where I could exist and not have to share it with anyone. It was the one place where I could go to continue sharing my interests, interact with friends and read about non-newborn related stuff. I could remain just me, and it would not negatively affect my baby in the slightest if I did not include him.
My friend, Jessica, has been encouraging me to write about this topic for some time. I avoided it because I didn’t want to come across as judgmental.
The truth is that we don’t know what’s going to happen with technology, social media or anything in the future. Keeping my kids off social media may turn out to make no difference whatsoever in the long run.
Or maybe it will. Regardless, the fact remains that it was the right decision for us. And should we change our minds in the future, we can share.
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I don’t know if it’s possible for me to care less about what other people are posting or doing with their kids. It’s just not in me and quite frankly, being that judgmental sounds like a lot of work. With the lack of energy I’m perpetually running on, my bandwidth wouldn’t cover it anyway.
During shelter in place I’m grateful that I can touch my kids and have them in my personal space (not the case for some essential workers.) However, I’m also loving that I still have one place I can visit that is just mine, even if it’s not a physical space.
What’s the space you go to that’s just yours?
Stay safe, y’all. We’ll get through this together.
With warmth and gusto,