How is everyone doing?

These are trying times, y’all. That’s for sure.

We are so lucky to have those in service positions working tirelessly in uncertain and very scary times so the rest of us can get what we need: grocery store, drug store and “essential” store employees, truck drivers, food delivery folx, nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, etc.

Personally, I don’t know if there is a way for me to express my gratitude. In the limited times I’ve needed to go out and grab necessary supplies I’ve made it a point to say thank you to them for working during all this.

Reality for some of us

Despite all the social media and technology we have in 2020, I still feel very isolated from lots of folx, as I’m sure many people do. I am seeing and reading a lot of ideas for people to read, binge-watch whatever they want, start a new meditation practice, etc. And if you are able and want to, by all means do it!

However, for many people who have small children (or I imagine are caring for someone elderly or with special needs) and now have to care them and work from home, that’s not an option.

My children are 4.5 and 1.5. They usually go to daycare, but now they are home as we practice social distancing. Without extending judgment (merely stating facts about our family), we don’t let our kids watch a ton of TV. Our 4.5 year old can watch 1 episode (about 23 minutes) of a show he enjoys depending on the day (on a really tough day 1-3 episodes), and our 1.5 year old is not yet permitted to watch TV. Therefore, our activities are constantly interactive and only one of them naps. They usually go to daycare, but now they are home as we practice social distancing.

And quite frankly, we’re exhausted all the time as we go from cram-working to being “on” for parenting within seconds and no break in between. I’m sure many parents can relate to this right now.

Weekdays

My husband (who usually works in the city) and I are both working from home, and we attempted to figure out a schedule that would allow us to squeeze 8 hours worth of work into 4 hours. Last week we attempted the following shifts:

9AM - 1PM (One of us works, one with the kids)
1PM - 5PM (One of us works, one with the kids)

That was cute.

I took some time to leave the house, drive to the parking lot of my favorite coffee shop and just work in my car because I needed some space.

This week we have determined that those shifts do not provide enough time for us to be productive. Therefore, we’ve implemented a new schedule for this week and we’ll see how it goes.

Parent schedule

6:00AM -7:30AM
- Parents wake up and get ready.
- Parent A helps with as much of the morning routine as possible.

7:30AM - 1:00PM
- Parent A works
- Parent B feeds kids and works on morning schedule
1:00PM - 6:30PM
- Parent B works
- Parent A works on afternoon schedule and starts dinner
6:30PM - 8:30PM
- Parent B starts dinner
- Parent A jumps in for the tail end of dinner
- Both partake in bath + books + bedtime routine
8:30PM - 10:00PM
- Clean up whatever is needed
- Watch an an episode of a show
- Talk if we have enough energy
10:00PM - 6:00AM
- (Hope to) sleep
  - Inevitably at least one kid wakes up at least once. It can vary anywhere from 5 minutes to 3 hours, especially with our toddler who appears to be going through a growth spurt and/or language milestone.

Kid schedule

Here is what we’re doing for the kids to attempt maintaining a loose schedule that will preserve our sanity:

Weekends

On weekends we’re doing what most people are doing;

Taking walks
Exercise, if we can
Spend time in our backyard
Be outside but not be social

On Saturday we took our kids to the boardwalk and walked on the beach a bit. It was helpful to not only soak in some air but also the water. I’ve been feeling a bit claustrophobic and anxious so turning my attention to the elements was helpful.

Overall, this is a tough time and adjustment. We’ve got to look at this as our new normal, even if only for the next couple months. We’re truly trying to figure out ways to make this more manageable, but it’s tough.

If you’re having a tough time, you’re not alone. I see you, and if you can relate to any of what I wrote, maybe you’ll take some comfort in the knowledge that while you' may feel like you’re struggling I am doing the exact same thing over at my own house.

Hang in there, y’all. Better times are coming. It just might be a minute before they get here.

With warmth and gusto,

H

Resources

We’ve found some resources to be help to keep activities interesting, but not feel the sole weight of coming up with all of them.

This does a step by step guide of how to draw a bunch of different cartoons and characters. Seriously, even if you’re an adult and are terrible at drawing it will turn out looking decent.

Yoga + storytelling for kids. It’s not slow so they won’t get bored, and it includes stories kids nowadays seem to love - Frozen, etc.

Daily life during a pandemic