Empathy during a crisis
I wrote this on Instagram, but I feel like it could be useful here, too.
A ton of people are super anxious.
A ton of people are super annoyed about the fact that some people are super anxious.
A ton of people are annoyed that the non-anxious people are not taking this pandemic as seriously as they are.
There is no “right” way to react to this unprecedented dumpster fire of a situation we’re in.
A whole lot of people are feeling a whole lot of feelings, and not enough of those feelings are empathy.
If you're someone who is anxious //calm folx, I'll get to you in a minute// I see you and I hear you. The unknown is essentially our worst nightmare and trying to feel prepared is one of the few ways we know how to cope despite the fact that it usually doesn't help all that much in situations like this.
At least, it doesn't for me.
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But what does help is staying educated, taking care of myself and my family and knowing that…
All we can do is the best we can with the information we have at the time we need to make decisions. That's the case when choosing what to have for dinner, and that's what it is for responding to a pandemic.
Do the cautious things the CDC is telling you to do and breathe.
Anxiety is a legitimate thing. As uncomfortable as it is, let yourself feel it and acknowledge it to yourself and your loved ones. Being honest about it will help those around you to better understand how you're processing this. And finally…
If you have people around you who are remaining calm, perhaps consider yourself lucky that you have a network of level minded folks around you so that you have the space to freak out.
For those who are not anxious at all about it and feel that everyone is overreacting, perhaps consider yourself lucky that you don't have anxiety. Perhaps practice some curiosity as to *why* people are so anxious by making sure you fully understand the severity of the situation from credible sources - WHO, CDC, etc. - to channel more empathy (or possibly even show you that some anxious folks have reason for concern.)
Even if you know all there is to know and are still saying to yourself, “OMG everyone calm down!” perhaps that could be replaced with, “I imagine that someone with anxiety would read that fact/update/news of uncertainty and feel very uncomfortable. That must be hard to be processing it that way.”
Anxiety freaking sucks, especially when it washes over you and despite your best efforts you just have to ride it out. Imagine being deathly afraid of rollercoasters and being forced to ride one 100 times. That’s what it can feel like for me so I implore you to have some patience and understanding for the simple fact that people are frightened. That's all.
And with the gift of calm that you’re able to channel right now, please take one for the team and ride that out.
[It truly is a gift for you and anxious folx around you.]
We live in communities, be it physical or digital. We are not alone and we can absolutely help one another.
Regardless of where you’re at right now, please practice empathy. This is not a time to push each other away but rather to provide comfort and love by pulling each other closer (even if only verbally.)
Stay safe and healthy, y’all.
With warmth and gusto,