Why it’s totally fine if you’re *not* okay right now
The past few months have been emotionally taxing to put it mildly.
Did you make a bunch of plans for 2020 last year?
I sure as f*ck did. I even planned a freakin’ theme for each month and it was going to be awesome!
…and then the pandemic hit.
No one has really been “okay” since this all started, but this most recent wave has been especially cumbersome. Here’s a few reasons why it’s totally fine if you’re feeling not okay:
You’ve been living through a PANDEMIC for a freakin’ year.
No really. A freakin’ YEAR.
For a year you have:
Been surrounded by (and constantly reminded of ) massive death tolls.
Possibly even lost loved ones to this monster.
Had to constantly wash your hands, keep hand sanitizer everywhere and apply whenever you can’t wash your hands.
Had to remember to keep your physical distance from 99% of other people, including friends and family.
Had to diminish your support network by not seeing others in person.
Had to stay home for months at a time.
Read each and every day about how dangerous this virus can be, how is can be transmitted and generally how scary it is.
Possibly been caring for children or a sick loved one and need to do all the things to make sure they are safe and then apply the same care for yourself.
(If a U.S. resident) Been bombarded with election news, very polarizing conversations and information, and a very drawn out and stressful election outcome.
Look at that list. That is some SH*T to deal with all at once.
Whether or not you feel or realize it, you have been in fight or flight mode for about 365 days and counting.
This. Is. Not. Normal.
And since that’s so incredibly not normal it’s not surprising at all that you would not be okay. Your Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) has been in overdrive for an entire year.
Livescience.com tells us, “…while the fight-or-flight response serves a purpose, you don't want it switched on all the time.”
“If prolonged, however, the stress signals whizzing through the body wreak havoc. Besides maintaining a mental feeling of constant stress, the extra epinephrine and cortisol damage blood vessels, increase blood pressure and promote a buildup of fat.”
The SNS responds to stress by sending extra blood and oxygen where it is desperately needed in the body and as a result, deprives other parts of your body (like your stomach or immune system) of said blood and oxygen. Hence, why stress often causes digestive problems and why very stressed folks get sick more frequently. If you’re in constant overdrive all the time, certain parts of your body get the shaft pretty hard.
Have you had any of these issues? Are you freakin’ exhausted? Do you feel mentally sh*tty? It’s your body just getting through this.
You are experiencing prolonged touch starvation.
“When physical contact becomes limited—or, in some cases, eliminated—people can develop a condition called touch starvation or touch deprivation.”
“Touch starvation increases stress, depression and anxiety, triggering a cascade of negative physiological effects. The body releases the hormone cortisol as a response to stress, activating the body’s “flight-or-fight” response. This can increase heart rate, blood pressure, respiration and muscle tension, and can suppress the digestive system and immune system—increasing the risk of infection.” [Texas Medical Center]
Don’t underestimate the benefits of touch. Staying arm’s length away from every other human may seem normal by this point but it’s not.
The results of the U.S. election provided some relief, but I still feel the residual anxiety plus the exhaustion that comes from said anxiety. Most days, I’m just mentally scrambling and trying to stay afloat.
Every day I try to catch my emotional “breath” while simultaneously processing the overwhelming barrage of negative news and events are thrown at us every single day.
My point is that if you’re not okay right now, I am with you. Eventually, we will be okay. Until then, go easy on yourself.
Do your best with these circumstances and don’t compare it to pre-pandemic circumstances. We are dealing with an unparalleled animal right now and with that being the case, you may not be okay.
And that is completely fine.
With warmth and gusto,
